Paradice Minions: Bringing the world a kinder, gentler Hell on Earth.
One person too many told one of our founders to ‘go to Hell’ one time too many. This, on the same day as this one-time door-to-door salesman watched an enlightening episode of Bullshit by Penn & Teller called “Easy Money.”
Penn & Teller: Easy Money (part 1)
Penn & Teller: Easy Money (part 2)
Let’s face it. We’ve all been told to go to Hell, or that we’re going to Hell at least once in our life. Why wait? Let’s be impatient without killing ourselves over it. What if we could bring about a little Hell on Earth? Maybe a kinder, gentler Hell that might even be barely socially acceptable? There’s a way to do this! Keep reading, and we will fill your head with wild dreams and expectations!
You too can become a celebrated (miscreant) like us! Pre-orders for our first major and incomplete game, SIN are open, and may be ordered through our Minions. This is a game a collision of unoriginal ideas (Magic: The Gathering, Catholicism, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, etc). We learned in grade school to reduce, reuse and recycle. So, we’re a “green” company now for recycling ideas – like Hollywood. To recycle another idea, we’re going to bring back a golden age of Amway.
Our uniquely-re-used sales system is designed for you to fail. We don’t trust you with money, which is why we take money from you and keep it all for ourselves. We teach you how to prey on your relationships to victimize all your friends for our benefit the same way that your master victimized you. You will do all of the work and get none of the pay; and you will like it. We are the worst thing to come along since Justin Bieber/Twilight/April 15th.
So, step right up and join us for one hell of a lot of work for you and easy money for us (not ‘you’). You know you want to be subjugated. A word of warning, as you go through the various pages about Minions and Minionhood, be aware that our ‘thank you for your order‘ and ‘we’re sorry you canceled‘ pages that you get redirected to from Paypal are easy to stumble upon. The links below will not lead you wrong, however.