Oh, and thank you for your pre-order of SIN. We now implore you to go forth and use your innate powers of Notwork Marketing to take advantage of your relationships on our behalf. Or, if you wish to go the scholarly route, links to our on-line reference material appear at the end of this friendly message.
At a minimum, you are a Chum of the 1st Circle of Hell. Chum to us means less about being buddies and more about being shark bait. If you purchased enough decks to qualify for free shipping, you are instead a Parasite of the 1st Circle of Hell. To get nicer rank and title, do things that result in recruiting more peons, pre-order more decks or do the things that earn you Brownie Points with us.
A staff member of Paradice will soon send you an email detailing your current rank and title and introducing you to your Master (if you lack one), and your Lord or Lady who you will serve. In that email, you will also be given your Registration Number and Placement ID, as well as the Placement IDs of the serfs placed immediately below you.
We ask that you join our mailing list so that you get project status and updates about Minions in a timely manner. There are some developments that we’d like to tell you privately, as you’ve earned the privilege by hitting the ‘buy’ button. The concept of ‘earning’ things by spending money doesn’t quite make sense – much like ‘getting smarter’ by saving money when you spend at least a gob of money at whatever store.
On a more serious note, you trust us with your money to deliver an awesome game. We’re not about to keep you in the dark like a mushroom. Instead, we’ll do that to the unenlightened hordes, to some degree. If you’d like to get to know other Minions right away, you can find them at our forums.
Thanks again, and may you serve us well!